Clarity First. Growth Second.

What if the growth you think you're supposed to be chasing isn’t leading you where you think it is?

We take growth in tech as a given.

Growth feels good.
Growth brings status.
Growth brings a higher salary.
And growth opens the door to… more growth!

But is growth in tech intrinsically valuable?

Here’s a question we don’t ask often enough: Growth toward what?

In tech, “growth” usually means learning a new framework, leveling up soft skills, taking on more responsibility, getting promoted.

These are all fine goals — but without clarity, they can become traps.

If you don’t know what your growth is in service of, you might pour time, energy, and emotion into a direction that ultimately drains you.

You might be checking every box, but forever wondering when you’ll finally feel good about any of it.
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You tell yourself it’ll feel better after the next raise… the next title… the next quarter. But it doesn’t.

Because without clarity, you might be moving fast — but end up far from what you actually want.

🧩 What’s Worth Growing?

Would you rather have:

• A great title, strong technical skills, and a high salary — but spend your off-hours preoccupied with work and upskilling?

Or:

• An average salary, average skills, and an average title — but spend your evenings present with your family, friends, or self?

I’m not here to judge your priorities — only to challenge the default ones.
There’s no shame in choosing money, title, or mastery.

But if you haven’t consciously chosen — you’re probably living someone else’s values. And that disconnect hurts more than you think.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 My Growth Got Capped — and I’m Glad

You scroll LinkedIn and see colleagues announcing new jobs, launching new projects.
You feel like you're falling behind — too busy, too distracted, too lazy to keep up.

But what if your time constraints aren’t a liability? What if they’re just signs pointing to what actually matters most to you?

My wife and I decided to have a big family. (We have five kids.🤯)

That decision placed natural limits on how much I could hustle outside of work.
No late-night deep work. No weekend side projects.

I tried, but the gravitational pull to help bedtime routines, grocery runs, and all the beautiful chaos of family life was too strong for me.

It made chasing a FAANG role — or high-paying, grindy startups — out of reach.
And yes, I’ve made less money because of it.

But I’ve never regretted it.

Because I didn’t stop growing — I just grew in a different direction.

I chose growth that was in service of my life. Not in service of someone else’s vision of what “success” looks like.

If eat, sleep, code is something you are having trouble living up to, then why do you keep trying to force it?

You are not a failure if you choose life on your own terms.

🧭 Clarity Comes First

Growth takes time, energy, and effort — all limited resources.

Before you invest them, ask: What do I actually want out of this life?

When you get clear on that, growth builds something better than your career: It builds fulfillment.

Thanks for reading!
Michael
Coach + Founder, The Complete Engineer
📬 contact@thecompleteengineer.com
🌐 thecompleteengineer.com​

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💬 P.S. If you're chasing growth but unsure if it's taking you somewhere you want to go — I coach engineers through exactly that kind of fog.

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Reply to this email or book a free discovery session if you'd like help mapping the way forward.